Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Brian Wilson’s Friend Remembers First Night “Pop Genius Turned Up At The Door For A Pizza” - Deadline

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Someone said that Japanese girls fly to Los Angeles all the time to have fun with black men. Is that true?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I can count

Why did Mark Lane harass Helen Markham during an illegally recorded telephone conversation to misidentify Lee Harvey Oswald who she witnessed as the shooter of Tippit?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What baseball stories from the early days of the sport seem too bizarre to be true?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What was something you did naughty with your cousin?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand how hurricane paths work

What smell will you never forget?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why is the word "democracy" not in the preamble of the US Constitution?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Nintendo Switch 2 sets all-time launch record for hardware in the US, beating PS4 - Video Games Chronicle

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for fakery

I actually pay taxes

How can MeTV Toons compete with other national broadcast TV networks?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I can read

I see through liars

Why is my crush beautiful to me but not to others?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why can’t my wife just accept the fact that I’m going to cheat?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why can't NASA just bite the bullet and launch a plainly simple mission, audited by flat earther peers start to finish that definitively proves to even the smallest minds that the earth is an oblong spheroid, and not flat?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why do some women alter their faces by so-called cosmetic surgeries (on their eyes, cheeks, lips, chin, jaw) that making them look like Donald Duck or puffy aliens, while for most men these unnatural facial changes are ridiculous or even disgusting?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Can I fix a fridge leak myself, or should I call a pro?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”